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I have an amazing husband. I will tell that to anyone that will listen. He supports me and my crazy ideas – like the title of this piece. I have been feeling burnt out. Of course after this past year, who hasn’t?? But I came to the realization that I have been in my career coming up on 30 years this year (I am not that old – I started teaching as a teenager and grew a business from it) I have reinvented the wheel over and over and after figuring out how to teach piano over the internet this year, I AM TIRED. Truly. Tired.
My anxiety at night about what the next day is going to be wakes me up constantly. Please don’t misunderstand me – I LOVE what I do. I LOVE the families that I get to teach. I LOVE that I get to work from home. I LOVE that I have been able to do what I do all these years and still have a job during these crazy times. I’m just tired.
So when I approached my husband about taking the first 2 weeks of the year off (after all of us being home for the Christmas vacation for 12 days) he didn’t even hesitate to say that he thought it was a wonderful idea. He has always said that I spend so much time worrying about everyone else, he has to make sure that I am OK and he instantly thought that this was a good idea. I told him that I wanted to take time for me to start exercising again. Maybe sit and watch and movie or two. Organize some things around the house (which we never did when quarantine began – that’s another story for another day) Start a new business plan, incorporating our woodworking business more into our daily lives.
I still want to teach. It’s just the structure of the day is so different now. The kids and husband are home during the day so I have to to keep things on the quiet side. Then as soon as the kids are done with school, lessons begin. Then it’s dinner time and then I’m done!!! I feel like I have written this before, numerous times. I hate it. I hate that I hate it. See how conflicted I am???
The first week I was more focused on this blog and undecorating from Christmas. We do Christmas BIG here (even when it’s only the 4 of us) so it takes several days for the clean up to be done. Now that it’s all taken care of, and a few side steps with a broken dryer, I have 7 days. I am already refocused on the blog and content. I have taken ME time to give myself a facial and really just relax for an evening. I want to organize several things that I can put up for sale. Have some returns to make (although I hate leaving the house) .
Watched a movie or two (I watch romance movies – well I DID watch romance movies – I haven’t in quite some time – unless you call Dealpool a romance and every other #RyanReynolds (#TheVoices – even though #AnnaKendrik was in it – let’s call that dark romance) movie that we watched in the past month LMAO!)
My bedroom is disorganized and needs some serious attention. I was able to really clean off my desk and I am super happy to be sitting here right now. I just don’t want to use the eyes in back of my head to see what’s going on otherwise in the room. The piles of laundry sit waiting to be folded or put away (my arch nemesis).
I at least have dinner planned for this evening. Can’t wait to share that recipe.
My second day of exercising – the first was 4 days ago. The days inbetween were up and down the steps (16 on Saturday within a short period of time), lifting boxes and TONS of squats. Today I got on the rower again. 100 reps in 4 minutes, 15 seconds- faster by 30 seconds from the first time and then 27 minutes on the treadmill – may have a new favorite binge show to watch while I walk – don’t laugh – #TheBigBangTheory. Yeah yeah. I’m a little slow. But since watching young Sheldon, I think I already appreciate the show!
That’s where I am at trying desperately to not feel guilty over not working this week. I know that I am going to be able to make up for it in the weeks ahead, but still, this is a first for me. I want to do all the things and nothing at all. Damn.
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